So many things shift all at once when you have a baby and the transition back to normal day to day life takes much longer than I ever anticipated it would. I’ve been craving a solid schedule since Valerie was born. I have always thrived when I had a schedule that was consistent and mostly jam packed with different weekly activities. Before she was born I had a plan as to how I would fill my calendar with engagement rich activities for both of us for every day of the week. But alas, after she was born I was introduced to reality and I had to adjust my expectations. My daily schedule needed to be much simpler, especially in the beginning.

It isn’t easy to create a consistent routine with an infant!

For the past few months I’ve thought about how I would put together what my daily schedule looks like, but I have STRUGGLED! Mostly because every time I’ve felt really good about my daily routine with Valerie for more than a week something shifts! Then its back to feeling out of sorts again. Whether it’s a sleep “progression”, teething troubles or something else it always feels like somethings changing.

So how do I create a daily schedule for myself when I may have to adapt to the changes of an ever growing/evolving baby? Short answer is, A LOT of flexibility. I leave lots of wiggle room in my scheduled blocks of activities to leave room for adjustment. I also try to give myself some “cushion time” to get things done. Other than appointments which have set times, I try to allow adjustability in my scheduled weekly errands/chores. So if I need to get to the grocery store, but I am just not keen on going I can push the trip off a day or two. I think it’s important not to be too hard on myself for allowing this kind of flexibility in my schedule.

Valerie just turned 10 months old, and we’ve been going back and forth between 1 and 2 naps a day for a week or so. If we have a two nap kind of day, here is how our day might look. I’ve got two different days that I noted down below so you can compare them & see how my day might fluctuate. I have to stay flexible when I make my plans for a day based on what time we get up in the morning and how we slept that previous night. 

Daily schedule possibility #1:

7:00 – 7:30       Wake up (sometimes earlier than Val, sometimes not)
W/U – 8:30      Morning milk, diaper change, play time
8:30 – 9:15       Breakfast (cook, eat, clean up Val & Kitchen)
9:15 – 10:00     (ish) Solo play time/Ms. Rachel time (Mom does house chores if possible/up for the tasks)
10:00 – 10:30  Mom breakfast/Val Snack sometimes
10:30 – 11:30   (ish) Diaper change, wind down for nap/fall asleep
11:00 – 12:30   (ish) NAP TIME! (Mom works on blog, reads, quiet chores or rests also)
1:00 – 2:30       Wake up, snuggles and milk, diaper change, play time
3:00 – 3:45       Snack time (Val & Mom)
3:45 – 5:00       Diaper change & Dad play time (Mom relax time)
5:00 – 6:00      Nap time if able. Otherwise Ms. Rachel & sometimes more mom milk time 
6:00 – 6:45      Dinner & clean up 
6:45 – 7:45       Wind down, bath (if needed)
8:00 – 8:30      Bed time for the night (mom either sleeps also or can watch tv, read, etc.)

Daily schedule possibility #2:

6:00 – 6:30     Wake up (Normally not earlier than Val. *Sigh)
W/U – 7:30     Morning milk, diaper change, play time
7:30 – 8:15      Breakfast (cook, eat, clean up Val & Kitchen)
8:15 – 9:00      (ish) Diaper Change, Play time/ms Rachel time (Mom does house chores if possible/up for the tasks)
9:15 – 9:30      Wind down for nap/Fall asleep
10:00 – 11:00  Wake up. snuggles and milk, diaper change, 
11:00 – 12:30   Play time, read books, get outside.
1:00 – 1:45       Snack (banana, yogurt, avocado, etc)
1:45 – 2:30       Diaper change wind down for second nap 
2:30 – 3:00      Fall asleep for 2nd nap
4:30 – 6:00      Wake up, sometimes snuggles and milk, diaper change. Then Playtime or Ms. Rachel (if mom needs quiet time and dad is cooking)
6:00 – 6:45      Dinner & Clean up 
6:45 – 7:45       Wind down, bath (if needed)
8:00 – 9:30      Bed time for the night (mom either sleeps also or can watch tv, read, etc. (sometimes she gets wild!)

My focus as a FTM is to find the things I CAN keep consistent in my day-to-day routine.

One of the things that bothered me when I became a mom was all of the posts I was seeing on instagram and facebook about daily schedules. It was all about proper wake windows for babies and sleep training techniques. It all seemed overwhelming. I was already just trying to get through a day and then found myself consistently worried about what things I might be doing wrong because of some reel I saw. It was maddening and confusing. Especially because you could see another reel that would negate the first one. 

What I have learned is to focus on the things that I can do that create consistency in our daily routine, especially now being on the road. There is no perfect daily schedule other than what works well for you and your little one. For us, the schedule may not be the exact same each day of the week. However, we always have a good breakfast and, for now, at least one solid snack throughout the day (that’t not Mom milk). We aim to get outside every afternoon, even if its just for a few minutes after our morning nap time. And everyday we make sure that both Bryce and I spend time engaging and connecting with Valerie.

I just need to remind myself sometimes to let go of needless expectations.

Before I became a mom I would stack my days with tasks to get done and I would force myself to get through all of my daily “assigned responsibilities”. If I didn’t finish my own set expectations for the day I would feel lazy and unproductive and get down on myself for lacking the discipline to follow through. But nowadays if I did that, I would feel lazy and down quite often. Becoming a mom I’ve had to learn to give myself much more grace.  

Now when I am looking at my weekly errands and planning my week I try not to stack too many tasks into one day. That way, if we are having a rough day we only have to get through (or reschedule) one errand. If I have to reschedule, I am making progress on letting myself change plans on the fly. I try to plan to get through my daily errands either before or right after our first nap of the day so that Val is hopefully rested and happy. If I have to have two errands happen on the same day, I try to break up our time in the car. Or, if I can find a park close to one of our errands I will make a point to try and stop for some playtime before we head home. 

It has taken me some time to adjust to a different lifestyle than I grew up knowing, but I am loving being a stay at home FTM. Creating and maintaining a daily routine has been a little more challenging for me, but necessary for me. And it is SO worth the struggle to get to stay home with my little one. I’ll keep you updated on how my schedule changes as Val gets a little older and we adapt to her becoming a toddler. 

Until then! Cheers!

Briana